LANDON ASHFORD
The exact millisecond her bus crosses the county line, I feel it.
The silence shatters.
It doesn't creep back gradually, doesn't build slowly like a wave gathering strength. It's instantaneous—a violent, deafening explosion of white noise that slams into my skull with enough force to make my vision blur.
I'm still standing on the pavement outside the bus station, rain pouring down my face, my phone clutched in my hand with her last message still glowing on the screen. The water is cold. My clothes are soaked through. My hair is dripping into my eyes.
I don't feel any of it.
All I feel is the screaming.
It starts behind my eyes—that familiar pressure, like someone is driving an ice pick through my temples with methodical, surgical precision. Then it spreads. Down my spine. Through my ribs. Into my fingers until they're shaking with the effort of not crushing the phone in my hand.
The static is back.
And it's so much worse than before.
Because now I know what silence feels like. Now I know what it's like to exist without the constant screaming, the relentless noise, the beast clawing at the inside of my skull demanding blood and violence and release.
She gave me that. She gave me peace.
And then she left.
I force myself to move. One foot in front of the other. Mechanical. Controlled. The Golden Prince walking back to campus with perfect posture and a pleasant expression, completely oblivious to the rain.
No one sees the way my hands are trembling. No one notices the rigid tension in my jaw, the way every muscle in my body is locked tight enough to snap.
No one knows I'm fracturing.
By the time I reach my penthouse, the screaming has escalated to a roar.
I unlock the door with fingers that won't stop shaking. Step inside. Close it behind me with careful, deliberate control.
And then I lose it.
The living room is pristine—floor-to-ceiling windows overlooking the campus, designer furniture arranged with geometric precision, everything perfectly curated to project wealth and taste and control.
I fucking hate it.
My fist goes through the glass coffee table first.
The sound of shattering is satisfying—a physical manifestation of the chaos in my head. Safety glass explodes outward in a glittering spray, embedding in my knuckles, and the pain is sharp and bright and not nearly enough.
The noise is still there. Still screaming.
I grab the nearest chair—a sleek mid-century piece that probably cost more than most people's cars—and hurl it through the window. The impact is beautiful. Spectacular. Glass raining down like crystalline tears, the chair tumbling three stories to the manicured lawn below.
Better.
But not enough.
Never enough.
I'm panting now, breathing hard through clenched teeth, and some distant part of my brain recognizes this for what it is. A psychotic break. Complete loss of control. The mask finally shattering under the weight of what I actually am.
But I can't stop.
The expensive lamp—the one my father gave me when I got accepted to Ardencrest, the one that's supposed to represent legacy and tradition and the Ashford fucking name—goes next. I rip it from the wall and smash it against the floor until it's nothing but twisted metal and shattered porcelain.
The bookshelf. The entertainment center. The decorative sculpture some interior designer insisted would "complete the space."
All of it. Destroyed.
I'm moving through the room like a hurricane, demolishing everything I can reach, and somewhere in the back of my mind I'm aware that I'm making animal sounds. Low growls. Feral snarls. The kind of noises that shouldn't come from a human throat.
But I'm not human right now.
I'm the beast. The monster. The thing I keep caged behind expensive suits and perfect smiles.
And the cage just broke.
By the time I'm done, the living room looks like a war zone. Broken furniture scattered across blood-speckled floors. Glass everywhere—in my hair, embedded in my knuckles, crunching under my feet. The curtains torn down. The walls dented where I put my fists through them.
I stand in the center of the destruction, chest heaving, hands dripping blood onto the expensive hardwood, and the screaming in my head hasn't stopped.
It's quieter. Manageable.
But it hasn't stopped.
I need more.
I pull out my phone with blood-slick fingers and check the tracking app.
Pink dot. Moving steadily through the city. Heartbeat: 74 bpm.
She's fine. Safe. Completely unaware that I just destroyed my entire living room because she dared to leave campus.
The thought should shame me. Should make me feel guilty or horrified or any of the normal human emotions someone might experience after having a violent psychotic episode.
I feel nothing.
Just the screaming. And the knowledge that breaking furniture isn't going to be enough to quiet it.
I need blood.
Real blood. Human blood. The kind that doesn't come from punching through glass.
I need to hunt.
I'm moving before I consciously decide to, stripping off my ruined clothes and stepping into the shower. The water runs pink, then red, then clear as I wash away the evidence of my breakdown. Glass shards tinkle against the tile as they fall from my hair. The cuts on my knuckles sting under the hot spray.
I watch the blood circle the drain and think about Hazel.
About the way she looked through the bus window. About the watch on her wrist. About the promise she made to press the button if she needs me.
About the fact that she's two hours away and I can't breathe.
I need to kill something.
I get dressed in black—tactical pants, dark shirt, jacket with enough pockets to hold everything I'll need. I look like I'm going to rob a bank or commit a felony.
Close enough.
I check my reflection in the mirror. The Golden Prince is gone. The thing staring back at me is cold. Empty. Dangerous.
Perfect.
I slip a hunting knife into my jacket—the same one I used on the man from the bookstore. Clean it obsessively. The blade catches the bathroom light, throwing sharp reflections across the walls.
Then I head out into the night.
The rain has finally stopped, leaving everything wet and reflective. The campus is quiet—most students either studying or partying, no one paying attention to the shadowy figure moving through the darkness with predatory grace.
I know exactly where I'm going.
Last week, I noticed something. A pattern. Small but significant.
There's been drug activity near Hazel's dorm building. Nothing major—just some low-level dealers selling to desperate undergrads who don't know any better. I wouldn't normally care. Drugs flow through Ardencrest like water, and I've never had a moral objection to people poisoning themselves.
But they were operating within a hundred yards of her building.
They were in her space. Her sanctuary. Close enough that she could have walked past them, could have been approached, could have been touched by their filth.
That's unacceptable.
I've been tracking them for days. Learning their patterns. Their routes. Where they meet. Where they hide their product. The abandoned maintenance building on the edge of campus that they use as a distribution point.
Tonight seems like the perfect night to clean house.
The maintenance building is exactly where I expected it to be—a crumbling brick structure that hasn't been used for anything legitimate in years. No lights. No security. Just darkness and the perfect cover for illegal activity.
And perfect cover for me.
I slip inside through a broken window, moving silently through the pitch-black interior. My eyes adjust quickly. Years of hunting in the dark have trained me to navigate by sound and shadow.
I can hear them. Voices echoing from somewhere deeper in the building. Casual conversation. Laughter. The clink of glass against concrete.
Four of them. Maybe five.
Good.
The static in my head is a constant roar now, drowning out everything except the primal need to hurt, to break, to kill.
I follow the sound deeper into the building, my footsteps silent on the debris-strewn floor. They're in what used to be a storage room—makeshift table set up with scales and baggies, cash scattered across the surface. Two of them are counting money. One is cutting product. Another is on his phone, probably arranging the next deal.
They don't see me until it's too late.
I move.
Fast. Brutal. Efficient.
The first one doesn't even have time to scream. My knife goes through his throat before he can process that someone's behind him. I feel the blade slice through tissue and cartilage, feel the hot spray of arterial blood against my hand as I rip it sideways.
He drops like a puppet with cut strings.
The others react—shouting, scrambling, reaching for weapons they won't be fast enough to use.
I'm already on the second one. He's bigger, stronger, actually puts up a fight. His fist connects with my jaw hard enough to make my teeth rattle, and the pain is exquisite. Clarifying.
I smile.
Then I drive my knife up under his ribs, angling toward his heart. He makes a wet, choking sound and tries to grab my wrist, but his strength is already fading. I hold him there, feeling his pulse against my hand as it slows, stutters, stops.
The static quiets slightly.
Better.
The third one runs. Smart move. Wrong move.
I catch him before he makes it to the door, tackling him from behind and driving him face-first into the concrete floor. I hear his nose break—a wet crunch that's deeply satisfying—and then he's screaming, begging, trying to crawl away.
I flip him over and show him the knife.
His eyes go wide. Terrified. He sees exactly what I am, what I'm going to do, and there's something beautiful about that moment of recognition.
"Please—" he starts.
I drive the blade through his eye socket.
The screaming stops. His body jerks once, twice, then goes still.
The fourth one has found a gun. Of course he has. He's pointing it at me with shaking hands, finger on the trigger, looking like he might actually pull it.
"Don't fucking move!" His voice cracks. He's young. Maybe twenty. Probably thought dealing drugs near a college campus was easy money.
He thought wrong.
"Put it down," I say calmly, wiping blood off my face with the back of my hand. "Or don't. Either way, you're not leaving this building alive."
He pulls the trigger.
The shot goes wide—panic and adrenaline ruining his aim. The bullet ricochets off a pipe somewhere behind me, and I'm already moving.
I'm on him before he can fire again, knocking the gun from his hand and driving my knife into his stomach. Once. Twice. Three times. I'm not being efficient anymore. I'm not being surgical.
I'm being feral.
The blade goes in and out, in and out, and his blood is hot and slick and everywhere. He's making these horrible wet gasping sounds, trying to hold his insides in with trembling hands, and I watch him struggle with clinical detachment.
This is what happens when you operate near her building.
This is what happens when you exist in her space.
This is what happens when you dare to breathe the same air as something I've claimed as mine.
He dies slowly. Painfully. Exactly as he deserves.
The static in my head is finally, blessedly quiet.
I stand in the center of the storage room, surrounded by corpses, breathing hard. My hands are slick with blood. My clothes are soaked with it. The knife in my hand drips steadily onto the concrete floor—tap, tap, tap—like a metronome counting down the seconds until someone discovers this massacre.
But I don't move.
I just stand there, letting the silence wash over me. Real silence. Not the screaming. Not the noise.
Just... peace.
I check my phone. 8:47 PM.
She's probably at dinner by now. Eating Thai food with Aurora, laughing about something innocuous, completely unaware that I just slaughtered four people because they dared to exist too close to her.
I should feel something. Guilt. Remorse. Horror at what I've become.
I feel nothing.
Just satisfaction. And the knowledge that her space is cleaner now. Safer.
I wipe the knife on one of the corpses' shirts—methodical, careful, making sure there's no blood left on the blade—and tuck it back into my jacket. Then I step over the bodies and walk out into the night.
No one sees me leave. No one ever does.
I'm a ghost. A shadow. The kind of monster that only exists in the dark corners of the world where polite society doesn't look.
And I'm very, very good at being invisible.
By the time I get back to my penthouse, the adrenaline is fading. The peace that comes after violence is settling into my bones, making me feel almost human again.
Almost.
I strip off my bloody clothes in the bathroom, burning them in the fireplace like I always do. No evidence. No witnesses. No connection between the Golden Prince of Ardencrest and the bodies that will be discovered in an abandoned maintenance building tomorrow morning.
Then I shower again—longer this time, methodical, scrubbing away every trace of blood and violence until my skin is raw.
When I'm done, I pull on clean clothes and survey my destroyed living room.
The shattered furniture. The broken glass. The blood-speckled floors.
It looks like a crime scene.
I should clean it up. Should call someone to replace the windows, repair the damage, restore the pristine facade.
But I can't bring myself to care.
I'm still standing in the center of the destruction when my phone buzzes.
Incoming call: Sunflower.
The static that was slowly creeping back into the edges of my consciousness vanishes instantly.
I answer on the second ring, and the exact millisecond I hear her voice, everything changes.
"Landon? Did I catch you at a bad time?"
She sounds happy. Relaxed. Completely at ease.
And I'm standing in a room that looks like a bomb went off, with blood still drying under my fingernails, with the memory of killing four people less than an hour ago fresh in my mind.
I smile.
Warm. Genuine. The Golden Prince sliding back into place like a comfortable mask.
"Never a bad time for you, Sunflower." My voice is soft, affectionate, completely at odds with the destruction surrounding me. "How's the city? Are you having fun?"
"It's amazing!" The enthusiasm in her voice makes something warm bloom in my chest. "Aurora took me to this vintage bookstore that had an entire section of poetry collections I've never seen before. And the Thai restaurant was incredible—you would have loved it."
I pick my way carefully through the broken furniture, cradling the phone against my ear, and settle onto the one chair that survived my rampage. There's broken glass under my feet. Blood on the floor three feet away.
"I'm glad you're enjoying yourself," I say, and I mean it. "You deserve beautiful experiences. Did you take pictures?"
"So many pictures." She laughs—soft and genuine—and the sound wraps around my brain like a balm. "I'm sending them all to you. Aurora says I'm obsessed with documenting everything, but I want you to see what I'm seeing."
"I want that too." I lean back, utterly relaxed despite the carnage surrounding me. "What are you doing now?"
"Just got back to Aurora's apartment. We're probably going to watch a movie or something. Nothing exciting."
"Everything you do is exciting to me, Hazel."
There's a pause. I can hear her breath catch slightly, and I wonder what expression is on her face right now. Is she smiling? Blushing? Does she understand what she does to me?
"You're sweet," she says finally, and her voice is soft. Tender.
If only she knew.
"Are you okay?" she asks suddenly. "You sound... I don't know. Different?"
Panic flickers through me—cold and sharp. Can she hear it? Can she somehow sense through the phone that I just murdered four people? That I'm sitting in a destroyed penthouse covered in evidence of my breakdown?
"Just missing you," I say smoothly, letting a hint of vulnerability creep into my tone. "The campus feels empty without you here."
"It's only two days."
"I know. But I'm allowed to miss my best friend, aren't I?"
She laughs again, and the tension dissolves. "You're allowed. I miss you too."
Those four words settle over me like a benediction.
She misses me. She's thinking about me. Even in the city, surrounded by new experiences and different people, she's thinking about me.
Mine.
We talk for another twenty minutes—easy, comfortable conversation about nothing important. She tells me about the museum exhibit they're planning to see tomorrow. I tell her about the policy paper I'm supposedly working on, fabricating details that sound plausible enough.
The whole time, I'm looking at the destruction around me. The shattered glass. The broken furniture. The blood.
And I'm smiling.
Warm. Genuine. Completely fucking unhinged.
"I should let you go," she says finally. "Aurora's giving me the 'you've been on the phone forever' look."
"Alright, Sunflower. Enjoy your movie." I pause, letting my voice drop to something more intimate. "Text me before you go to sleep?"
"I will. Promise."
"Good girl."
I hear her breath catch again—sharper this time—and then she's saying goodbye, hanging up, and the connection goes dead.
The phone goes dark in my hand.
And the smile vanishes.
I sit there for a moment, staring at the blank screen, feeling the absence of her voice like a physical wound.
The static is already creeping back. Quieter than before—the killing helped, the phone call helped—but it's there. Lurking. Waiting.
I need something more permanent.
I need to hear her. Not her voice. Something deeper.
Something primal.
I reach into my desk drawer and pull out a specialized earpiece—a piece of technology that cost me more money than most people see in a year. Military-grade surveillance equipment. The kind of thing that's technically illegal but easily acquired if you know the right people.
Which I do.
I press it into my ear and pull up the app on my phone—a custom program I had coded specifically for this purpose. It took months to develop, months more to test, and several very discrete payments to a hacker who didn't ask questions.
The smartwatch I gave Hazel isn't just a panic button and location tracker.
It's a biometric monitor.
And I just hacked into it.
The app loads. I enter the access codes. And then—
Thump-thump. Thump-thump. Thump-thump.
Her heartbeat fills my ear.
Steady. Rhythmic. Perfect.
Seventy-two beats per minute. Resting rate. She's sitting down, probably on Aurora's couch, probably scrolling through her phone or watching whatever movie they picked.
And I can hear her pulse.
I close my eyes and let the sound wash over me. Let it drown out the static, the noise, the screaming that never really goes away.
Thump-thump. Thump-thump. Thump-thump.
This is what I needed. This is what I've been craving since the moment she left campus.
Not just knowing where she is. Not just seeing her location on a screen.
But hearing proof that her heart is still beating.
That she's alive. That she's safe. That she exists in the world and I can track every goddamn second of it.
I stand up slowly, careful not to disturb the earpiece, and move through my destroyed living room like a sleepwalker. The broken furniture crunches under my feet. Glass glitters in the dim light.
And her heartbeat keeps me anchored.
I make my way to the windows—the ones I didn't destroy—and stare out at the dark campus. Somewhere out there, two hours away, she's sitting in an apartment I've never seen, living a life that doesn't include me.
But she's still mine.
Because I can hear her heart beating. Because I know exactly where she is. Because she's wearing my leash and doesn't even know it.
"Seventy-two beats per minute," I whisper to the empty room, my breath fogging against the glass. "That's four thousand, three hundred and twenty beats per hour. One hundred and three thousand, six hundred and eighty beats per day."
I do the math in my head, letting the numbers ground me.
"Forty-eight hours. Two hundred and seven thousand, three hundred and sixty total heartbeats until you come back to me."
Thump-thump. Thump-thump.
"If one of them skips out of fear..." I press my palm against the cold window, leaving a bloody handprint on the glass. "If anyone makes your pulse spike with terror or pain or anything other than the gentle anxiety you've learned to live with..."
My reflection stares back at me—eyes cold and empty, face spattered with blood I missed during my shower, expression absolutely serene.
"I will drown this entire fucking city in blood just to paint your path back to me."
The promise hangs in the air like smoke.
And her heartbeat keeps thumping in my ear, steady and unknowing, the only thing keeping me from losing my mind completely.
I stand there for hours.
Just listening.
Watching her heart rate fluctuate as she moves through her evening. It spikes slightly when something startles her—probably a jump scare in whatever movie they're watching. It climbs to 89 bpm when she climbs stairs. Settles back to 68 when she's lying down.
Every beat is catalogued. Memorized. Treasured.
Around midnight, her heart rate drops to 62 bpm. Sleep.
I listen to her sleep, standing in my ruined penthouse, surrounded by the evidence of my breakdown.
And I smile.
Because even in sleep, even two hours away, she's still mine.
The watch on her wrist is sending me her pulse, her location, her biometric data. Every breath she takes, every beat of her heart, every second of her existence is being transmitted directly to me.
She thinks it's a panic button. A safety measure. A gift from a caring friend.
She has no idea it's a collar.
She has no idea I'm listening to her heartbeat right now, standing in a graveyard of my own making, kept sane only by the digital rhythm of her pulse thumping in my ear.
She has no idea what she's become to me.
What she's always been.
Mine. Completely, irrevocably mine.
And I will kill anyone who tries to take her away.
I check the tracking app one more time before forcing myself to move. Pink dot. Aurora's apartment. Third floor. Northwest corner.
Exactly where she should be.
I finally turn away from the window and survey my destroyed living room. Tomorrow I'll call someone to fix it. Tonight, I'll live in the ruins.
Because it's honest.
This is what I am without her. Broken. Violent. Barely contained.
This is what happens when she leaves.
And she can never, ever know.
I settle back into the surviving chair, phone in one hand, earpiece transmitting her steady sleeping heartbeat into my skull.
Thump-thump. Thump-thump.
Two hundred and seven thousand, three hundred and sixty heartbeats.
I'll count every single one.







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